Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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