I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
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so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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