went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
