it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
