then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize