she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
there's paper in my vomit.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
