if i can run in heels then i can drive
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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