i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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