so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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