DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
two words...techno handjob
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
