3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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