I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
