so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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