It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
40s are totally the cure
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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