I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
