His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How many fucks given?
0.12846
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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