she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i've created a new STD.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
