best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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