my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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