i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
