is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
