haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
