i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
