i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize