dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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