I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
