i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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