it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
