im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize