haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
