How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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