I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
