Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
