It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
