My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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