I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
