you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize