that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
