Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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