make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
