she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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