how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
