She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
