Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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