Your dad touched me again.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
