Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
