people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
