Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
