i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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