ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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