Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
