flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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