this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
