found the other keg... it's in the tree
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
