Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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