Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
