You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
