there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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