is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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