she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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