yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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