I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
